its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
