I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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