How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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