you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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