porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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