Already got asked if we're dating
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just want nice things and good sex
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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