My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
