one might say we're banned from that church
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
