to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
