so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
