you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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