Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
