btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
