all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
