I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
