woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
