marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize
