Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
