She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
