At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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