ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
