im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
