So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You're like the curious george of whores
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
