saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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