frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
