Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
