I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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