this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
