Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
NoShamevember. You game?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Randomize
