He kissed a someone with a penis
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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