Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
now i know why i became what i already was.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
