i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
