u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
