nut hugger
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
