Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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