i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
