Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
