The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
sex in a hospital.. check
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
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