it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
