nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
