The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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