i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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