Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
