Will you blow on my dice?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
