There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
In other news, I just burned my penis
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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