I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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