no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
