but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
