HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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