You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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