i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
