she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
