you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
