Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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