Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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