Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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